i wonder. if i gone missing one day who will notice.. my family of course. but what about my friends. maybe there will be a few. but will you notice. i really need and want you to be by my side. i see my friends have sisters, i am super jealous of them. cause they can have someone to talk to when they are in some types of trouble. can share secret with one another. can share stuffs. can go out together. me i have none. although i have a elder female cousin.. she and i are more of a friend than sisters. i used to talk to her share a little secret with her. but now things have changed. i am really jealous of people that have elder sisters. i want to have one too. i am like a elder sister and not a younger sister. i have to be independent. who know that i am actually not like what i look like.. i maybe playful and look very happy go lucky. but hey do you know that i have many things that you guys do not know. it is at the bottom of my heart. but after i know you everything changed. but now things changed again. i am back to the old me. sometimes i really want to go find you, pick up my phone and call you. but i didnt dare to. i am afraid that i might lose you totally. but hey am i holding on to something that will not be like before. i wanna give up but every time when i am there to the end point something will happen. can you just dont leave me please. am i like somewhere in your heart or mind? i still can remember all the promises you make.. everything that you told me. i am afraid that i might forget how you look like i put your pic somewhere so i can see it and remind me of you. i really feel like hugging you tight. dont let you go. your goodnight messages used to make me feel sweet and want to sleep and wake up early to see your morning messages but now your goodnight messages to me are goodbye messages. so what can i do?
